From Ninjas To Insanity
by JokerDemon
Summary: Just some crazy stuff going on in Naruville


CHAPTER ONE

Orichimaru logged on to his Myspace after a long day of trying to get Sasuke's body. "Let's see who else I can rape on this damned website…"

Sakura also logs into her Myspace. She has 1 New Friend request. "I bet it's Sasuke!" she says. But instead, it is Orochimaru. "You sick bastard, why would I want to be your friend?" she messaged him.

"Because I am going to have Sasuke's body, bitch, that's why. And once I have it, I'm going to let you do all sorts of nasty things with it, and it'll be fun!" Orochimaru messaged back.

"That's a good enough reason" Sakura said as she approved his friend request.

**Meanwhile…**  
"Pick a fucking card, any fucking card," Itachi says to Sasuke. Sasuke picks a card. Itachi shuffles the deck. "Remember the fucking card, okay, jackass? Remember." Itachi said as Sasuke put the card back in the deck. Itachi shuffled it some more, then picked out a 5 of Clubs. "Was this your motherfucking card?"

"Nope," Sasuke says, blowing a giant bubble of bubblegum and popping it.

Itachi picks another card. A 7 of Spades. "Is this it? Is this your fucking card?"

"Nope."

"Why are you so fucking weak, Sasuke? Huh? You can't even do a magic trick right. Why are you so fucking weak?"

"Because I'm hungry?" Sasuke answered. "And because I'm a ballet instructor! Want me to 'instruct' you?"

Hell to the fucking no. I've got to go home and try to fry Kisame on the grill again. It almost worked last time."

**Meanwhile…**

Hayete walks down a street following Konohamaru. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Hayete says. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I said Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuckin' Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Somebody save me!" Konohamaru yells. "It's a fucking Jonin zombie!"

Hayete stops. "You called me a zombie, you little midget faggot you! Just because I look dead doesn't mean I am!"

Konohamaru shrugged. "Fooled me. Hey, why didn't you cough?"

Hayete grins. 'No fussin with the 'Tussin. What do you mean, fooled  
you?"

"Exactly what I said," Konohamaru said. Why were you saying Ahh, you sick bastard?"

"It's called 'mental masturbation'. You should read up on it, and the Hokage won't catch you pulling your wanker so often."

"Well, don't you have a girlfirend?" Konohamaru asked.

"Let Kakashi give you AIDS and see if you get a girlfriend."

"You sick fuck!"

"And stop letting Ebisu stick his pinky up your narrow ass. That's Kakashi's job. Thosand years of Buttsecks, I think that's what he calls it.."

CHAPTER TWO

Rock Lee begins singing the Pokemon theme song. "I want to be the very best, that no one ever was. To catch them is my real test; to train them is my cause. I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. These Pokemon to understand to power that's inside!"

**After a while…**

Lee approaches Gaara on a beach. "Gaara of the Desert, I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

"No," Gaara bluntly states.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm the king of the beach, bitch, that's why. And because I'm the President of North Carolina. Now leave me the hell alone."

"Aww, man. I better leave the Mr. President alone," Lee sadly says as he runs his 500 laps into the horizon, looking for a new opponent.

**After another while…**

Rock Lee find sasuke in a ballet class and points him out. "Sasuke! I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

Sasuke smiles smugly as usual. "Okay! I accept your challenge!"

Both get dressed in pink tutus and prepare for battle when Itachi walks in.

Itachi stops and stares. "Woah, shit, I was just looking for my fucking… uh… this is some gay shit right here, I'm leaving." Itachi stumbles for his words while he tries to find the exit.

Lee stops him. 'Wait! I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

Itachi frowns. "What? A fucking Pokemon battle? Fine. KISAME!"

'What?" Kisame answers, slouching along into the room.

"This silly gay motherfucker wants to challenge me to a fucking Pokemon Battle. I choose you, Kisame!"

Kisame hesitates, then replies. "Uh, no dude. I gotta go…"

Itachi: What the fuck, man! Whatever. I'm still gonna grill your ass, you just wait. One night I'm going to get really hungry...

**Later...**

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Kisame?" Itachi asks out of the blue.

"I think so... but don't we need a pool to play Marco Polo?" Kisame answers casually.

"Kisame, did you know how gay that made me feel?" Itachi snapped. "Don't say that gay shit around me. I've already got girls sending me these fucking yaoi pics of me and my little fucking brother, I don't need you too!"

Kisame replies with a, "But you're the one trying to put me on a damn grill, Itachi. You're the one who wants you see how I _taste_.."

"Shut the fuck up, you bastard. Just you wait till I get real hungry one night.." Itachi said, rubbing his hands together.

"Itachi, do you know how gay that makes me feel? I've already got girls sending me yaoi pics of me and my little brother, I don't need you too!" Kisame mocked.

"Shut the fuck up!" Itachi yells as he pulls out a deck of cards. "Pick a fucking card, any fucking card!"


End file.
